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Sep 26, 2001: Status Report to Field Operatives

To my fellow operatives and other agents of the greater cause, I bring you especially good tidings: Phase 6 of our plan is now successfully concluded, and the cause of world domination by the forces of the LIS Directorate is one step closer to completion.

Objective: Target P (completed)
As you know, the primary goal of Phase 6 was the full neutralization of the influential, if thorny, Target P. Just a year ago, Target P was inveighing against the "tyranny of hierarchy". But through our insidious methods, including liberal doses of chlorophyll, Britney Spears, and a full meme transplant, Target P has now been reduced to a blindly devoted believer, mouthing our mantras and preaching the good word of structure, organization, and, most recently, faceted classification. Local Bay Area operatives have even spotted him buffing off his nail polish and seeking sensible shoes.

Dangerous Target P   Neutralized Target P
Target P... ...is now one of us!

Future Objectives: Targets N, V, T
So rejoice, but only briefly, comrades: we face difficult and dangerous work ahead in the coming phases, and there is little time to lose. We can not and will not rest until Target N is coupled with his new bookmobile.

Target N   Hit the Road, Jak
Behold, your future... ...by the way, can you drive a truck?

Then we will relegate Target V to typing up catalog records in quadruplicate.

Target V   The Joy of Cataloging
OK, design boy... ...better get reading.

Finally, we will ensure that Target T spends the remainder of his productive hours running the Tuesday afternoon story hour for the kids at New Haven Public Library.

Target T   Story Hour with Ed
Stop hoisting those pretty books of yours... ...and swap'em for Harry Potter and If You Give a Pig a Pancake.

The world will soon be ours; now go and may Melvil be with you...

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